Kiss And Tell
by The Voice in the Wilderness
Summary: I know what you need, little man. Poor InuYasha, he chose the wrong person to seek advice from.


_All "InuYasha" characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and associated copyright holders. No money is being made from this fan fiction. No infringement is intended._

"What's your pleasure? One wish – and it's yours." slithered the deep voice across his twitching ear.

"Get off me, you freak before I fucking kill you! I came here for advice – not seduction! Especially not from you." the boy's fanged words clipped fast along his elder's laughing sense of irony.

"So, little hanyou – what do you want from me them?" the dark one questioned, folding himself effortlessly upon a large granite boulder, making a show of arranging his white fur cloak just so. Naraku knew what InuYasha was going to ask him but the Spider wanted the boy to enjoy dragging it out, kicking and screaming.

InuYasha's blushing virginal behavior was just _too good_ to rush!

"Well – dammit! I can't believe I'm even doing this! Fucking stupid asshole…" the flushed inu-hanyou stammered angrily, clawed fists clenching and unclenching. He really wanted to know how the Spider did it! One more 'osuwari' and many more tight, hot and _very_ lonely nights alone was going to make his balls drop off into hard blue rocks! Hitching his proverbial fundoshi up and taking it like a man, well – half-man, InuYasha turned his sliver head away from the evil being silently lording over his ignorance and confessed his soul.

"Tell me how you do it.", he growled.

"How do I do what, little man? I'm sure I don't know what you could be mumbling about down there, so ashamed!" replied Naraku with a laugh in his rich voice.

"How did you manage to seduce Kikyou, you fucking bastard – I hate you for that! You're hanyou too, but somehow you managed to find your slick fucking way into her crimson hakama and she didn't even love you! She hated you, even! How'd you do it?", InuYasha snapped up to his smirking sensei in a frustrated rush. There – he'd admitted it.

"That's what you sought me out for? InuYasha, are you having trouble bedding your own tender miko? That must be so…painfully frustrating, no?", Naraku couldn't or wouldn't resist rubbing it in the brat's angry face. The Evil One could feel the boy's raging hormones from a hundred yards – it was so deviously obvious what the problem was.

Would he tell InuYasha that Kikyou had seduced him, not the other way around? She'd nursed Onigumo, yes – but when she came across the newly formed Naraku in the dank cave of his birth, the spoiled miko had been the one to ravage _him_. The taint of their unholy coupling made it that much easier to kill her – and that was just an added bonus. The Spider felt phantom lips upon his strong white neck and shivered. Perhaps, he needed to find the clay bitch and indulge in a little necrophilia.

Shaking his dark head slightly to clear the rampaging lust out of his calculating mind, Naraku focused his steely eyes down upon the restless supplicant transparently awaiting his wicked enlightenment. Time to go to work, the inward demons giggled within him.

"Why should I help my enemy, InuYasha?", the dark hanyou growled in mock rebellion.

"Bastard – I know where your fucking lair is, even with your barrier I can smell its taint upon the air for miles. How about I look the other way for a couple of months?" _ I want to get the fire fucked out of my blood before it boils away or I kill that little sexy bitch!_

InuYasha had to admit if Kagome was tied to him by desire, she'd be so much more inclined to find jewel shards. So much more inclined!

"A couple of months won't matter at all, little hanyou. But perhaps there is merit to your proposition." Naraku's thoughtful profile mused. InuYasha was so easy to manipulate, it should have been a crime! He'd teach the hanyou a few choice lessons in brutality and with any luck the pesky inu-hanyou would be purified ash upon the winds in very little time – it was beautiful!

Naraku wondered to himself – perhaps he had use of a jewel detector as well. Kikyou was too unpredictable for his tastes and she could be very dangerous when the mood struck her. Kagome, in all her sweet, moldable innocence, would be a rare treat. Not only could the Beast break her will to his own, but he could use her link to the jewel to taint both it and its keeper purely black without any hope of purification.

A delicious premonition of future depravities with the girl sent thrilling mouse-feet of shivers up his blistered back.

"Are you going to spill it or what, asshole?", the impatient voice of his worst enemy groused.

"Yes, InuYasha – I will. Make an effort to listen well, brat, because I will not repeat myself and this little palaver of ours will never repeat itself either. Know that when I see you again, half-breed – you will be in Hell before the Devil knows you're dead.", Naraku hissed.

"Yeah sure – I'll lose sleep wondering if you're right about that. Just get on with it, already!", the inu-hanyou spat back with dripping sarcasm.

InuYasha's ears swept forward and Naraku was very, very pleased with the way they shivered in tense attention, desperate not to miss any torrid detail.

The Father of Lies flicked his long tongue against sharp fangs and let the coils of the serpent unwind.


End file.
